She has been talking about my chest ever since I started developing. My guess is that she was jealous or something. I mean, how dare I have a bigger chest than her!?! I know that she also developed early and got a lot of attention because of that fact. She became very promiscuous at a young age. I suppose that was how she justified shaming me about mine. That way, I wouldn't want to date. After all, she had been laying the groundwork for years to convince me that no guy would ever like me. Making me ashamed about my chest would ensure that I would only wear turtle necks with vests, which completely hid them.
I was not allowed modesty. My n-mother considered it to be the same as privacy and she told us that there was no privacy in HER house. She became furious when I would lock the door to use the bathroom or take a shower. She said she had the right to go in HER bathroom anytime she wanted. Then she would complain because I didn't want her to see me nude. I was mortified when she would actually open the shower curtain to ask me a question. I felt so violated.
Just a few years ago, she sat down next to me and said, "At least my legs are smaller than someone's." I just looked at my husband in disbelief. What do you say to that? A couple of years prior to that incident, I met a guy online and we made plans to meet in person. She saw my picture and told me that I should "warn him that my picture was very flattering so he wouldn't be dissapointed when he saw me." I was crushed. I was afraid to meet the guy after that and it totally ruined what could have been a nice time.
I could go on and on about all the things she did and said, but it would take forever. I think I've gotten my point across. Anyone who treats another living being like that does NOT love them. So, the question I pose is this: Do narcissists know how to love? If they don't, can they learn?
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